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Frustration Station

Posted by Mick on May 4, 2010 – 9:33 pm

I’m trying very hard not to let this day beat me.

Frustration is attacking from every side.  I’m trying to learn some new technology (Exchange Server 2010), and I’m a bit under the gun.  We have a marketing event in two weeks, and I have to give two presentations on it.  It’s a lot to learn, and so far there have been problems getting the book printed, I still don’t have a computer I can set up to work with the product, I need to switch to another book that I can’t get printed… it’s a comedy of errors.  I’d be laughing at it all, but I’m freaking out because I hate standing in front of a room full of people when I don’t really know what I’m talking about.

I’m also in no shape to deal with the stresses of this job today, because I’m going to the dentist today.  I fear the dentist.

I don’t actually fear the dentist.  He’s a nice enough fellow, he seems to be competent, and I’m pretty sure I could kick his ass if I needed to.  I fear dental work.  The level of fear that I feel is completely irrational, but that doesn’t make it any easier to deal with.  Right now, it’s a general sense of dread and discomfort.  As the day progresses, it becomes stronger, better defined, and soon it will blossom into a full fledged terror.

I’m not a coward, you understand.  I’m going to go in spite of my terror.  I will man up, walk in, and submit to the needed procedures.  I might cry.  Not a full on cry with sounds and snot, just a few tears, spilling over my eyelid and silently rolling down my cheek.  I might break the chair.  Terror gives you super-human strength.

A former dentist was actually worried that I was going to punch him during a procedure.  I wasn’t going to do it, but then again, I wasn’t in full control of my faculties.

Those were my rambling thoughts this afternoon before I went to the dentist.  As I was sitting in the chair… the chair they had to move me to, because the first room didn’t have a hookup for the Nitrous, and I’m not letting them anywhere near me without the Nitrous… as I was sitting their, I realized one of the reasons I’m always more comfortable going to the dentist alone.  I prefer not to be seen when I’m in that state.  It’s a little embarrassing.

And yet I share it with you.  There is most likely fertile ground to explore here, but I recently subjected my teeth to all manner of indignity, and I’d just as soon lay down and read a book until I drift off to sleep.  Or I can take some more Tylenol.

Be good to each other.

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