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That movie kicked ass

Posted by Mick on April 17, 2010 – 1:32 am

Guess what I’m most excited about tonight?  I just got tickets for Tara and I to see All About Evil at the Drafthouse, with writer/director Joshua Grannell (better known by many as Peaches Christ), Cassandra Peterson (better known as Elvira, Mistress of the Dark), and none other than Mink Stole (from most of your favorite John Waters movies) all in attendance.  And the evening will be hosted by our favorite Austin drag queen, Rebecca Havemeyer.  This one should be a night to remember.

If that’s not good enough for you, we also have tickets the next evening to see a Hey Homo presentation of Pink Flamingos, and once again Mink Stole will be there.  Pink Flamingos on the big screen, in my favorite theater.  That’s a great evening.

To help us get in the mood, Tara and I are also going to attend this month’s Hey Homo screening of The Adventures of Priscilla, Queen of the Desert.  Hugo Weaving has been an Agent, and a half-elf, but I’ll always remember him most fondly as a drag queen in Priscilla.  It’s a wonderful movie, and Hey Homo is one of my favorite Signature Events at the Drafthouse.  If you’ve never been to a screening, you really owe it to yourself to go.

There was one other thing that we did tonight.  We finally got to see Kick Ass.  I’ve been experiencing a bit of Kick Ass envy since December, what with many of my friends seeing it at Butt-Numb-A-Thon, and many more seeing it at SXSW, so I’ve been biting my nails and biding my time, waiting for opening weekend.  As a child, I waited for Christmas and a visit from St Nick.  As a teen, I waited for the next birthday and the extra privileges it brought.  And now, as a grown man, I wait for movies.  Opening weekends, pre-release screenings, film festivals, these are the things I anticipate now.

What can I say about Kick Ass, without giving anything away?  It’s fun.  I wouldn’t expect much more from it, and that’s not a bad thing at all.  It’s fun, and lots of it.  What more do you want from a movie based on a comic book about a teenager who decides to put on a wetsuit and pretend to be a super hero?

Actually, I’ll tell you something else you should be expecting.  A break out performance.  I don’t care what anyone else says, this movie stars Chloe Moretz.  She steals every scene she’s in, giving a performance that makes you forget she’s a 13 year old girl.  She can Act.  Yeah, that’s act with a capital A, for awesome.  Think back to 1994 and a little film called Leon, the Professional, featuring a 13 year old Natalie Portman.  You watched that movie and you knew you were looking at an actress with a future.

Some people will look at this movie, with all the violence and a 13 year old girl cursing and using the dreaded c word and think it’s awful.  Pshaw!  First, it’s a movie, she’s an actress, she knows what’s what.  Second, the film is rated R.  R says keep your kids away if you’re worried about them being exposed to such foulness.

And don’t give me that crap about them getting it on the internet.  If your kid has uncontrolled access to the Internet and the things that they can download off of it, Kick Ass is the least of your worries.  I’ve got an idea for you, control your kids.  I’ve got a better idea for you, talk to your kids about violence and cursing and make sure they understand the difference between a movie and real life.  But that’s just me.  It’s not like I have kids or anything.  Then again, I was a kid, and I had parents who did a pretty good job of teaching me the difference between fantasy and reality, right and wrong, good and bad.  And a movie never once warped my soul.  And if I did have a kid, I’m pretty sure I’d rather have them watch Kick Ass than some lame Hannah Montana movie.

My child would be watching Tarantino before they entered Junior High.  Nothing in my DVD collection would be off limits.  Except possibly Nekromantic.  He might have to be 15 for that one.  Maybe 16.  Unless he was a really cool 12 year old.

Some of you are thinking I should never be allowed to raise a child.  You’re probably right.

And third (did you think I forgot my train of thought?) the way I see it, Hit Girl the character is all about female empowerment.  If it had been Hit Boy, no one would be talking about how horrible it is that a 13 year old boy was shooting people, knifing people, and cursing like a teamster with a kidney stone.  But it’s Hit Girl.  And that upsets some people.  Little girls shouldn’t do that.  Why not?  She’s a strong female who is able to take care of herself in the world.  She’s a role model for little girls the world over.

Hit Girl will never be a victim of domestic abuse.  Hit Girl will never be sexually harassed.  She simply won’t stand for it, because she was taught to stand for herself.  But I’m rambling now.

Let’s leave it at this.  Whatever your feelings about the character, or the script, Chloe Moretz steals scenes away from Nic Cage.

Let me say that again, because I don’t want you to miss the import of my saying.

Chloe Moretz steals scenes away from Nic Cage.  Even as Nic Cage is channeling Adam West, Chloe Moretz is slipping the scene into a hidden pocket in her backpack and walking out the door.

Be good to each other.

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