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Is there a hole in the bucket?

Posted by Mick on April 18, 2010 – 12:16 am

I am so far off my game today.  I’ve walked through most of this day feeling like everything had been shifted just a tiny bit to the left.  The teeniest tiniest bit, infinitesimal if you will, but just enough to make you feel like things weren’t right.

You don’t know what’s wrong, you just know it’s not right.

The problem was that everything was actually really good.  I had time, but I couldn’t get it together to work on anything.  I tried several times, but nothing would click.

Even now, I’m having the hardest time getting my thoughts down.  I’ve started and stopped several times, I’ve deleted paragraph after paragraph.  I just feel weird.

I feel weird a great deal of the time.  It’s typically when I’m in a crowd.  I almost always feel like I don’t belong when I’m in a group of people.  That’s been a constant for the biggest part of my life.  Today wasn’t like that, because I was home alone with Tara all day.  Today was more a type of ennui.  I wanted to get excited about something, but I couldn’t.

Looking back at what I just wrote, I think it might give the impression that I was depressed, and I was a bit depressed, but I don’t want anyone to get that impression.  I actually felt pretty good, I just didn’t feel as good as I thought I should feel, that was the problem.  It was actually a happy day.

We watched A Fish Called Wanda this morning.  It’s been years since I had seen it, and I always remembered it fondly.  When I saw that it was on, I wondered how well it would hold up.  I’m glad to report that if anything, I found it better than I remembered.  I think that might be the very definition of holds up well.  Maybe not the very definition.  The very definition is probably that it’s just as good as you remember.  But we could argue semantics all day, and what would that get us?  Nothing, that’s what.  So let’s just agree, it held up well.

I also watched Iron Man today.  Embarrassing confession, this was my first time.  I missed the early screening, for work reasons I think, and after that I never got around to seeing it, and there was always something new to see, and I just kept putting it off.  With Iron Man 2 coming out in a few weeks, I figured I should probably see it.  There’s no chance I’ll miss Iron Man 2.  I’ll give you two reasons why.  Mickey.  Rourke.

That’s really just one reason, but my way had much more zazz.

I dug Iron Man.  I will say this, though, I’m not at all sad that Terence Howard isn’t coming back for 2.  I was never able to buy him in the role.  I’m excited that Don Cheadle took the role over, I expect a marked improvement.

I don’t really have anything more to say tonight.  The well is dry.

Be good to each other.


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