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Don’t judge me

Posted by Mick on April 4, 2010 – 11:29 pm

I have no new computer yet.

We headed up to Georgetown this afternoon, ostensibly for an Easter meal with the family… no, that’s wrong, we actually went for a meal with the family, putting together the computer was just a bonus.  Tara’s dad and I worked on the thing for a couple of hours.  Problem number one, it appears the brand new 700 watt power supply I bought isn’t any good.  Problem two, the motherboard doesn’t appear to be talking to the video card.  Even though we tried two different cards, one a known good, in both PCI-e slots.  I’m more than a little dejected at this point.

Typical Me would be using this time as an opportunity to bitch about how bad things went today.  But that wouldn’t be true.  One thing went bad.  Typical Me would focus on the one bad thing and ignore the rest of the day.  But this isn’t Typical Me.  This is Rational Me.  Rational Me is trying to help Typical Me find more enjoyment in the world around him.

Rational Me looks back at today and sees a completely different day.  For instance…

We went out to buy a keyboard and mouse, but we were defeated by Easter and its side-effect, store closings. We forgot about Easter for the most part, including Easter candy.  We decided this was a good excuse to treat ourselves to some Easter candy.  Including a hollow chocolate bunny with candy eyes.  I haven’t had a hollow chocolate bunny with candy eyes since… I honestly don’t remember the last one, I’m going to guess it’s been 40 years.  But I remember it well enough that I was looking for it today.  I knew exactly what I wanted, and rejected the first one I found because the eyes were painted on (how dare they!), and after a diligent search, right when I was about to admit defeat, I found one.  One lone, solitary, hollow chocolate bunny with candy eyes.  And a candy carrot.  BONUS!

That first bite of hollow bunny ear was everything I wanted it to be, and more.

My days are full of things like that.  I’m trying to appreciate that more.

I have a tendency… no, let’s be honest, it’s a compulsion (An irresistible impulse to act, regardless of the rationality of the motivation)… I have a compulsion to focus on the bad thing that happens.  I chew on it, I wallow in it, and it makes me an unpleasant person.  I look back on my behavior this evening and it embarrasses me.  Once it was clear that things weren’t going to work with the computer, I withdrew into myself and sulked.

Typical Me would say at this point that that is just who I am.  Typical Me is mistaken.  That’s not who I am.  That’s who I allowed myself to become. Rationale Me knows the difference.

I’m proud to say that Typical Me is becoming less and less typical every day.

This conversation isn’t over, but it’s over for today.

Be good to each other.

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