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We will not discuss teeth

Posted by Mick on March 11, 2010 – 7:43 pm

That’s right, I refuse to discuss teeth today.  Moving on…

Sadly, I don’t know what else there is to discuss.  This week is a bit of a bummer, and next week will be worse.  With the CyberMonkeyDeathSquad site on a sort of hiatus until I get some serious changes made, and considering work is a bit strange right now, I decided it would be prudent to skip SXSW Film Festival this year.  It was a difficult choice, but I believe it was the correct choice.  I’m not in a place where I felt comfortable devoting the time to it that it deserves, especially if I use a press badge to go.

If I go in the capacity of “press”, then I have a responsibility to devote an appropriate amount of time to publicity and film reviews, and right now I just didn’t have the time.  To do it right, I would have needed a week before the festival to focus on screeners, publicity packages, etc.  I didn’t have it.  I could have made it, but that would have meant compromising in other areas, and at this point in my life I didn’t feel like those compromises would have been prudent.

Then the thing happened with the tooth, but we won’t discuss that other than to say it was good that I didn’t have pre-SXSW work to do the last few days.

I’m sad I won’t be going, of course.  I may try and get in to a few screenings, but I probably won’t.  I know me.  I will sit this one out, experiencing it vicariously through a few friends, and planning my assault next year.  This year, I will focus on getting my scripts finished, keeping at this blog, and hopefully transitioning CMDS in to the new iteration.  I want the new CMDS up and running well before Fantastic Fest.  I’m also going to look at adding a few new writers to the site when we do that.  Anyone interested?

Other than that, I’m in a bit of a funk.  At the moment, I’m sitting at work, pulling my weekly double shift. I have written several paragraphs, deleted them, tried again, deleted the second try, and now I sit here wondering if it’s worth trying a third time.

The SXSW thing is part of my funk.  I know far too many people who are going, and seeing their tweets and FB status updates is giving me a big case of the left-outs.  In a week that will all be over,and maybe I can get back to normal.

What’s really bothering me, though, is something I’m not sure I should discuss.  I have a history of saying too much at the wrong time.  I guess you could say I have a big mouth.  You could say that, but I prefer to think of it as “saying what’s on my mind”.  Saying what is on your mind can get you in trouble, so I’m trying to practice the fine art of putting a filter between my mind and my mouth – or in this case my keyboard.

Then again, if I use too much filter, how the hell am I going to write anything?  It’s frustrating.  Tonight, however, I am going to take the fact that I’m having so much trouble writing this as I sign that I shouldn’t write about it yet.  When it’s time, if it’s time, I will let it spill.  Until then, I need some more time to think, and maybe, just maybe, to have a talk with an associate who’s actions are contributing to my depressive state.

Talk to the person before I talk about the person?  Damn you, maturity, you ruin all my fun.

Be good to each other.

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