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Set the toddlers free!

Posted by Mick on March 13, 2010 – 11:33 pm

I like my women just a little on the trashy side
When they wear their clothes too tight, and their hair is dyed.

This was as wasted a day as I’ve had in ages.

When the average person says they had a wasted day, it usually means they didn’t do anything.  If you know me at all, you know that I wouldn’t necessarily call a day wherein I did nothing a wasted day.  I appreciate the joys of doing nothing from time to time.  No, today was wasted because their was so much potential, and I failed to act on any of it.  Why, you may ask?  I could cite reason after reason for each and every circumstance, but I think I can safely blame all of my malaise on two causes – lingering mouth pain and being badgeless for SXSW.

It was my choice to skip SXSW this year, and it was the correct choice.  There’s just a bit, a tiny bit, of regret.

What I can’t allow myself to forget is that the life I’m currently leading is pretty sweet.  Too often we, and by we I mean me but I also mean you because it makes me feel better about myself to generalize my issues across the rest of the population, we see where we want to be and we neglect the awesomeness of where we are.  After years of truly being needy, I now have everything I need.  All the rest is gravy.  Delicious gravy.

One of the secrets to being happy is being thankful for what you have.  I know these things, and knowing is half the battle.  Knowing and doing are two different things.  Therein lies the secret.

If I have left you thinking that I moped around the house having a pity party because I’m not at the fest, I left you with the wrong idea.  That, and the continuing dental drama, helped put me in a state where the malaise could kick in.  The rest was just a cascade of circumstances which I allowed to feed said malaise.  On the positive side, I re-watched some wonderful movies today.  There was Pee-Wee’s Big Adventure, The Princess Bride, and True Grit.  It’s been years since I really watched True Grit, so that one was particularly rewarding.  That’s a film that reminds you that John Wayne was more than a movie star, he was an actor.  It also reminds you that as an actor, Glen Campbell is a hell of a singer.

After my movie madness, I was indulging in a bit of channel surfing.  This lead me to two discoveries.  First, The Learning Channel needs to change it’s name.  I understand that they’re invested in the TLC abbreviation, but Learning is no longer what this channel is about.  Methinks they should change the name to The Looney Channel.  That way, they can keep the logo.  It seems to be a never ending parade of freaks and weirdos.  There’s some crazy ass family with 18 or 19 kids, that Jon and Kate debacle, a show about people who fill their house with garbage… and the show that brought me to the second discovery.  Kiddie beauty pageants are creepy.

I knew kiddie beauty pageants existed, I lived through the Jon Benet Ramsey madness, but I had never actually seen one.  I saw part of one today, on the previously mentioned TLC.  It was worse, far worse, than anything I ever imagined.  The little girls are frightening, like you took those two old broads (Joan Collins and the blond one) from Dynasty and shrunk them down to 4 year old size.  But it’s worse.  Words fail me, seriously.  How’s this…

This little girl is 4 or 5 years old.  That’s just wrong.

From what I can gather, a kiddie beauty pageant is a collection of frustrated parents who never got the attention they thought they should have had and insist on dressing their female progeny up like southern truck stop waitresses who won the lottery last month and spent some of the money getting themselves dolled up.  Then they make the little girls prance around like a pedophile’s wet dream.

The poor little girls just looked confused.  Half the time they weren’t sure what they were supposed to be doing so they’re watching their mothers who are standing in front of the stage doing a bizarre pantomime version of the ridiculous routine they have choreographed for their little “second chance at mattering”.

The more experienced girls look positively terrified.  They strut their stuff on the stage knowing that a single mis-step will turn their loving mother into a vengful harpy.  The mother’s would actually meet the child at the end of the stage and begin to berate them on how bad they were.

I don’t know, it’s like somedays she just doesn’t even seem to care about any of this.  She just wants to do what she wants to do“.  That’s a mother being upset with her 4 year old daughter for not taking a beauty pageant seriously.  At 4 years old, you’re not supposed to take anything seriously, except possibly Sponge Bob.  Or Yo Gabba Gabba.  Or pudding. This little girl just wanted to go play and act like a kid… because she’s a kid.

Personally, I think you’re never too old to not take a beauty pageant seriously.  But that’s another story.

I did read some good news today.  Pink Floyd took their label, EMI, to court in the UK.  And won.  EMI is no longer allowed to sell the band’s concept albums, such as Dark Side of the Moon and The Wall as individual downloads.  The judge stated that this ruling should help “preserve the artistic integrity of the albums.”  Put another mark in the WIN column.

That’s all I’ve got in me tonight.  Tomorrow is another day, and a better day.

Be good to each other.


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