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It’s a “laser”

Posted by Mick on February 26, 2010 – 11:50 pm

I’m going to get a subscription to Time magazine.

It’s not as expensive as you think.  56 issues a year, at a cover price around $4.50, that’s like $252.  But now, for a limited time only (a limited time to get Time) I could have it delivered to my mailbox for $20.  They’ll even throw in an extra six (yes, six) months for free if I pay now.

If only they would throw in a free Laser Level.  Oh wait, they will?  This just gets better and better.

The ULTRONIC Laser Level features (and I quote):

  • Projection of a straight level line up to 20 feet.
  • 10-ft self-retracting measuring tape
  • Laser technology
  • Handy suction cup

Excuse me?  In the “features” of your Laser Level you actually included “Laser Technology”?  When you throw the word laser in the name of the product, I’d expect there to be at least a little laser technology there.  I’d go as far as saying that’s a minimum requirement for a Laser Level.  Why didn’t you mention the Leveling technology?

They didn’t mention “Leveling technology”.  Do I need a second level to get my laser level to be level?  I’m so confused now.

Ultimately, I decided not to get the subscription to Time.  It comes out every week, and it’s full of news.  I don’t have the time to read that much Time.  I’d have more Time than I’d know what to do with.

Since I can’t throw away a magazine I haven’t read, they’d stack up around the house.  If you came over, I’d have to explain that I’m a busy guy, I have a full time job, I’m trying to write two scripts, I blog every day, I go to far too many movies and concerts; is it any wonder I’ve got too much (clap clap) Time on my hands?

Feel free to insert your own Time pun here.

In other news:  This was a sad night.  I have attended my last SPIKE & MIKE Sick and Twisted Animation Festival.  It has gotten progressively less funny over the last 4 years.  The last three years or so, there were far too many repeats from previous years.  This year there were only 2 or 3 repeats, Horned Grandma, a  Lloyd, and I think one more but I forgot, but the new stuff just wasn’t that good.  There were two or three good ones, my favorite being a claymation Zombie apocalypse centered on a maid.  There were two or three excellent shorts that simply were neither Sick nor Twisted.  And then there was far too much filler that was simply meh. The worst?  A Town Called Panic, with the voices in English.  Not nearly as charming.  The charm dropped by a factor of 10.  I’m not sure what a factor of 10 means in this scenario, but it’s lots.  Bunches.  There was many much less charm.  It still had much charm, because it started out with an abundance of charm, but the charm was noticeably less.  I think everyone noticed it.  I have a graph in my head that explains all this, but I suck with graphics programs and I don’t have anything better than “Paint” right now so you’ll just have to imagine that someone with access to talent and software made this, and they made it look this bad on purpose.  It was a design choice.

The scale of Charmingness

I say this was my last.  The truth is, this time next year I may be starved enough for animation that I give it one more try.  But I won’t be excited about it.  And that’s sad.  It used to be a highlight of my year, one of those things I anticipated for months.  It’s not just me, either.  This was opening night, and the theater wasn’t half filled.  I can remember a time when opening night was packed.  Those days are gone.

All things must pass so that new things may come.

I’m going to go to read now.  I’m visiting a Sci-Fi classic that I have heretofore missed – The Dying Earth series by jack Vance.  I ran across a collection of stories written by other authors using this world as a framework, and that made me want to go back and read the originals first.  I’m reading these so I can read a series of stories about this world written by other people.  That’s a bit strange, but it works.  I’ve finished the first book, and it was an excellent read, feeling more like a set of interconnected short stories than a proper novel.  I dig short stories, so that was cool.  The second book seems like it will be more of a novel, focusing on a central character – a thief named Cugel.

The series takes place on Earth, but it’s Earth millions of years from now.  The sun is now red, burning itself out, and everyone is aware that they are living in the final days of the planet.  The population is much smaller, travel is rare, science is almost unknown, demons are real, and magic is common.  It’s calling me, as is my nice, soft, warm bed.  I leave you now.

Be good to each other.


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