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Getting started

Posted by Mick on January 7, 2010 – 6:17 pm

The problem with these things is always the beginning.  Once I get in a groove, it’s pretty easy to continue, but getting started is a bitch.

I hate introductions.  When I’m training, the hardest part of the day is the first five minutes.  Meeting new people?  There are few people more socially inept than me.

I fake it pretty well.  On a good day my social awkwardness comes off as a kind of arrogant pretension.  I can live with that.

But once I’m in to it, whatever “it” might be, everything’s OK.  As long as I don’t stop to think about it too much.

I know that OK is supposed to be capitalized, but to me it always looks rude.  Or angry.  Why all caps?  I’m making an executive decision – from now on we’re all about lower case ok.

But enough about me.  What else were we going to talk about?  How about let’s talk about what I did last night?

Last night was my virgin experience at Horror Movie Night.  HMN is a tradition at Brian Kelley’s house.  He’s been doing it for 8 years.  Every Wednesday night, he watches a horror movie at 7:30.  And he invites his friends.  Some nights he watches the movie by himself.  Some nights, the attendees number in the double digits.  But he always watches the movie.

That’s a tradition I can support.

The best thing about HMN is that Brian takes it very seriously.  He schedules the entire year out.  He’s made a trailer for the 2010 season, clips from the movies cleverly edited together with a theme song.  Quality stuff. I’m telling you.

Last night we watched Blood Diner, a clever little flick about two brothers who dig up the corpse of their uncle, reanimate his brain (complete with eyeballs), put it in a jar, and follow his instructions to help him complete his life’s mission.  His life’s mission?  Putting the spirit of an ancient goddess into a sort of FrankenWhore body.  The movie is glorious in it’s badness.  All of the characters are played to a very broad stereotype, and when I say broad I mean over-the-top, particularly evidenced in the accents.  Horrible, horrible, accents.  The female police officer, who borrowed Janet Jackson’s hairstyle and wardrobe circa 1985-ish, seems to shift her accent between, if not during, every scene.

There was also frequent use of the word “schlong”.

There were many wonderful murders, comical dismemberments, cannibalism, and the worst attempted seduction I’ve seen in – at least a week.  The goddess Shitar made an appearance.  We were even graced with the presence of this man:

Dino Lee, the King of White Trash

Dino Lee, the King of White Trash

And yes, he was performing.

Did I tell you that I loved it?

Tonight is a different story.  Long day of training with a few surreal moments (which are always welcome), and now I’m writing this blog while I cleanse my mind with one of my favorite bad movies.  PCU.  There’s so much wrong with this movie, but there’s so much that is so right.  Piven, Favreau, Spade, Walter, and George mother-fuckin Clinton!  I can’t sit down and watch it, but as background noise it’s brilliant.  You tine out the bad stuff and drop in for the few little bits that are classic.

A Bridge Too Far.  Caine and Hackman in the same movie, together, this is my thesis, man, this is my closing arguments!  I can stop watching TV!

But soon I leave.  Off to more work.  The good kind.  Not content with one story in development, I’m also working another project.  I came up with an idea a few weeks ago, and decided that this project needs a co-writer.  I’m going to work on this one with Tron.  You may know Tron from cybermonkeydeathsquad.  You may know Tron from FantasticFest.  If you don’t, you should.  He’s a unique individual with a world view that couldn’t be more twisted.  I can’t wait to see where this story goes.

You should follow along, I bet it will be memorable.


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