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My nemesis uncovered

Posted by Mick on January 24, 2010 – 8:31 pm

I’m finally putting my VCR to DVD dubbing machine to work.  It hasn’t seen any action in quite awhile.  Partly due to my own laziness, since I have one or two things I should probably get dubbed over while I still can.  Did I say partly?  That should actually say mostly.  I’ll let you edit that mentally.  I’m still feeling kinda lazy.

Tonight I’m starting a project for a friend.  He’s got a stack of VHS tapes, recordings of plays that he performed in, that he would like to preserve for posterity.  Time to get those digitized and duplicated a few times.  Hell, put them on youtube, they’ll exist forever.

Have you ever thought about that?  Barring some sort of apocalypse, every video on youtube is likely to exist forever.  Once that data is digitized and put into the database, why would they ever remove it?

In two thousand years, someone will be able to access a video screen and watch the child abuse that is David After Dentist.  Child abuse?  Potentially.  If my parents had done that to me, the odds are pretty good my name would now be associated with the term “hostage situation”.  And youtube would be my defense!

Luckily, we didn’t have the youtube when I was a boy.  If the youtube had existed, I’d be on it now.  There was an incident.  The local TV station – it was a small town, we only had one local station.  If I remember correctly, we had the CBS affiliate.  The local TV station had a kids show, hosted by a dog.  The dog was a hand puppet, actually the dog was like a muppet.  It was big, and interviewed you from his dog house.  If I remember correctly, the dog was named Wolfgang.  Wolfgang von Dog.  I googled it but nothing came up.  It’s not important to the story anyway.  What is important is that, if it was your birthday, you could get ont he show and bring 10 or so of your friends.  You got to meet Wolfgang, you got gifts, and you were on TV.

I don’t remember if it was my birthday or a friend’s birthday, but I got to go on the show.  And standing in line, waiting to talk to Wolfgang, my little 5 year old self found the monitor.  I could see myself!  And if I made faces, it zoomed in on me!  That was so cool.

No one bothered to tell me that a) you shouldn’t do that, and b) if you could see yourself, you were on TV.  Evidently, the cameraman thought I was the best thing on the soundstage that day.  One of my grandmothers used the word “embarrassed”, as in “I was so…”.  All I did was stick my tongue out.  Fingers may have waved while thumbs were in my ears.  I don’t remember, I was 5.  Luckily, this was long long ago.  No DVR’s, no VCR’s, no evidence.

I bet I’d have as many hits as David after Dentist, though.  I was a cute little shit.

I was just amusing myself.  I didn’t know I was on TV.  I didn’t know anyone could see me.  I’m not sure that at that age I fully understood that a world existed beyond my own mind.  I’m not sure I fully comprehend that now.

It’s not that I think I’m the center of the universe.  It’s just that I’m the center of MY universe, so I have a hard time figuring out where my influence ends.

You see, at age 5, my grandmother taught me a valuable lesson.  People are watching you.  And they are embarrassed by your behavior.  A big part of me fears that even to this day.  And another part of me… revels in that thought.  At least I made an impression.  I got your attention.

Is that why I hate having a camera pointed at me?  Damn you, Wolfgang Von Dog.  You scarred me for life.

Welcome to my therapy session.

We saw A Town Called Panic today.  Finally!  I wanted to see it at Fantastic Fest, but it was always up against something else I had to see.  I wanted to see it Friday night when it first opened at the Alamo, but we decided to wait for Sunday afternoon.  It seemed like a good Sunday afternoon flick, especially combined with an Alamo brunch of creme brulee French Toast.

If you haven’t seen it yet, you need to go.  See this movie.  It’s family friendly, there were several pre-teens in front of us with their parental units and not once was it awkward.  It’s subtitled, so you need to be able to read, but then again if you’re reading about it from me, I guess we already have that base covered.  Therefore, you should see this movie.

Brilliant, fun, and shamelessly silly.  That’s my back of the box blurb for A Town Called Panic.

My love for the movie can probably be traced back to 5 year old me.  I spent hours playing with a bag of plastic figurines.  Most of them were animals, some were dinosaurs, a few were people.  There were even a handful of green army men.  ATCP is stop motion animation done with- a child’s plastic figures.  It took me right back to my childhood.  And then it touched me.  Good touch, not bad touch.  Not like the man at the bus stop.  (DISCLAIMER:  I was never molested at a bus stop.)  It’s just a silly little story about the adventures of three room mates; Cowboy, Indian, and Horse.  It’s Horse’s birthday.  Cowboy and Indian forget.  So they have to come up with a present at the last minute.  Silliness ensues.  Stop motion silliness. And waffles.

The film was made in Belgium.  The film contains waffles.  Coincidence?

Wait a second . . . at 5 years old I was spending hours making up stories involving my plastic animals?  When did that stop?  How did I lose that?  At five years old I was a storyteller.  Somewhere, I forgot that.

And now I’ve found it again.

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  1. 1. Robert Lambert Said:

    And huge thanks for getting me out of the house for this, a true gem. Just like I said everywhere else online, “it’s destined to become a cult classic for open-minded children of all ages and I eagerly await the multi-talented, award-winning team’s next project.” The point is I had a great time, so thanks for that.
    Now I really want some waffles though.. may be time to break out the ol’ Waring Pro Belgium waffle maker.. love that thing!

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